I'm SUCH a wretch. I didn't even post on your feast day! But you know, we love you. But it's more of a need-love... we neeeeeed you!
Novenas never end up the way you see it in your head. I guess that's part of the point- they force you to conform your will more and more to the Lord's by purifying your desires. What do you really want? Do you trust Him?
I know a lot of people get visible and real signs at the end of novenas. St. Therese is of course the most famous, and many of my friends have amazing stories about receiving a rose from Therese. That has never happened for me. Each time I think maybe it's because of my lack of zeal, or trust, or something else that I've "done wrong". This time I just asked for some sign, anything really, to let me know that St. Joseph heard me. And he did hear me... I know he did, but, as for a sign... not so much. I'm supposed to have faith and I am weak. But I do believe, Lord, help my unbelief.
As I began the novena, I thought perhaps I knew a man who might be my St. Joseph. By the end, he helped me to see that it is not so, but that person is a kind of promise. He also drew my thoughts to a friend from the past to pray for him, especially that his very real gift of thoughtfulness, lacking in some very good men, may find fulfilment and truth in Christ. He also opened my eyes to the real gift of the Holy Spirit who will always direct my heart if I let Him and stay attentive to His presence.
Not what I asked for, but what I needed. Thank you, Joseph.