Tuesday, July 12, 2005

For the record

I live with 3 of the coolest girls in the world.

Yesterday, we were all in the same room (for more than 2 minutes) for the first time all summer! Splendid, splendid I tell you. Good conversation, even on such frightening topics as marital infidelity and the story of Alive! or cutting off your own arm. Riiiiight. Then three of us went off to Adams Morgan, to Tryst and caught up even more. I'm such an old lady that waking up this morning was quite difficult after being up til 1!

Highlights:
  • The guy who stopped, reached down, and touched my flip-flop for no apparent reason.
  • Amy asking for Splenda and getting a strange look only to realize later that it was sitting right on the table next to her.
  • Annie breaking out the Bible while trying to conceal what it is.
  • Annie proceeding to read, loudly, about Sodom & Gomorrah when the guy who just sat down behind her probably has strong reactions to that, while Amy and I are laughing because she has no idea.
  • Barbara, and the gals showing how awesome they are.

Questions:

  • Does it posit a sort of arbitrariness into the Divine plan to say that with regards to marriage, there may not be this "soulmate" you were created to marry, except when you think about it from the end? Meaning, in light of the fact that Amy marries Duston, it makes sense to say that this union was in the mind of God from the beginning. But does that mean that He willed it from the beginning, or just that it was from the beginning? I'm still not explaining this well. Let's see... basically the question is, can one choose the "wrong" vocation or the "wrong" person to marry? I guess we have to say yes, but how does that work in terms of the divine will?
  • Why would God allow something to happen to you that seems to confirm all of your fears, which you know are not of Him?

Part answer:

The poverty of finitude... that's what all of these kinds of questions seem to come down to. If we were all infinite we could be united to everyone else and not have to choose in this way. And there's no way we can understand everything that's happening from the eternal perspective because it's just so far beyond us- although we have to try. And you can't look at it from the outside, but from the inside, the lived experience where Christ is continually being made present.

Ok I feel like this post is all jumbled and just a bunch of thoughts thrown together, but it is what it is. Perhaps theology on tap tonight will give me even more food for thought!

1 comment:

Devin Rose said...

I've thought about this question a good bit, and I do not have the answer, but I will ramble on anyway if you will humor me.

For me, it comes down to doing my best and accepting the results as God's will. Ultimately, if God's vocation for me is marriage, I believe he will bring her and me together; if my vocation is something else, he will guide me to that.

The problem comes in when we consider that God has indeed given us free will, and so we can choose against his will and do something wrong, even making such a horrendous error as choosing the wrong vocation. There is a prayer to St. Joseph to know one's vocation in life, and the gist of it is: "God, please don't let me mess this whole thing up and choose the wrong vocation."

I thought God was calling me to marry a Catholic girl a little over a year ago. I had picked out the engagement ring and was brainstorming proposal ideas, when a few months later, it was all over. But I had done my best, and I believe that it was God's will that we not be married (at least at that time). However, it is possible that either she or I sinned by not getting married, but I don't think so because both of us were living in Christ and striving after him every day, receiving the Sacraments regularly and abiding in his sanctifying grace.

Ultimately, I just have to trust that God will accomplish his good will for me. He expects me to do my best, but takes into account and makes up for my many faults, failures, weaknesses, and sins. I don't think he will let me mess stuff up that badly when I am seeking after him. He loves us too much or that!

End ramble. May God graciously bless us through St. Joseph and our Holy Mother's intercession!