You too? I thought I was the only one!

Isn't that how C.S. Lewis describes friendship being born? That moment when you realize that you are not alone in some love, fear, or quirk.

So much happens in one day, and you have a million thoughts running through your mind. And you want to share them with someone. You want them to matter to someone, and not only that, but you want to see what someone else thinks about them. They build up as the day goes by, then as the week goes by, then as a month goes by. Then maybe you get together with a friend you haven't seen for a while. And they say, "so, what's been going on?" and you have nothing. Because where on earth could you start? And looking back, all those thoughts don't seem to add up to anything significant. And suddenly, you think you're a boring person because you just can't think of anything to talk about.

I didn't realize that other people feel that way! Maybe even everyone! But it makes sense. I think that's one of the things that makes marriage so attractive... someone will care about all those little things! They want to know them, they want you to share them... and because you would be together so much, you will actually be able to do that.

At WorkCamp, Steve would call his wife every 5 minutes. We thought it was strange, but cute. Now I totally get it. He and his wife realize that especially when he's out of town, they have to be in frequent contact somehow. Because otherwise, he'd come home, and too much would have happened, and suddenly there's a whole week that they don't share. It's not all earth-shattering news. In fact, none of it really is. When we told him that Ben & Jerry's gives money to Planned Parenthood, he stopped and said, "I'll be right back, I have to tell that to my wife!" and ran out of the deli to have a 2 minute conversation about ice cream and what kind they'll get from now on. And I loved that! Because that affirms to her that he's always thinking about her, and that he wants her to know everything he's doing even if they can't be together. If that wasn't their habitus, there's no way he'd remember after a week at WorkCamp to tell her about Ben & Jerry's.

The longer you go without talking to someone, the harder it is to "catch up" and yet with true friends, you still pick up as if you'd never left off. Maybe the key is to just continue knowing them, not being concerned to know everything else.

That's probably one of the reasons I've been thinking more about an old friend. It always goes in cycles, when you realize a friendship should end... But I miss the way that we would call each other over something stupid, and we know it's insignificant but we still want the other person to know it. Since I've never dated, this friend was the closest thing to it, and that's why it was so confused in my heart. That's the way I would be with someone I was getting that close to. And if I was seeing someone (as he was, frequently), I would be calling them, not him, to tell them these things. Hm. Ok as usual I started with one train of thought and jumped a bit. But that's all from me!